12 rules for life: The Serbian way, from twitter friend Pelagia in Belgrade

25 Nov

Pelagia@Ljiljana1972 12 rules for life: The Serbian way

1. Never clean your room. Your mom will do it. Unless you are a mom then you are to refuse any help if offered and complain how nobody in the house helps you.

2. When asked how you are doing answer as if your collocutor really wanted to know.

3. When asked how you are doing the correct answer is: terrible. Then move on to the details of your misery.

4. Be a slacker and be proud of it.

5. If you cannot be a slacker then indulge in work but never admit it. Even if you get all the highest grades or Nobel prize you are to deny that you ever in your life studied or worked hard.

6. Be late! Always and for everything.

7. Everyday spend at least two hours in the coffeeshop. You are not to work but smoke there.

8. Eat meat and lots of it. Treat vegies as decoration.

9. Be proud of rakija, but in the case of lockdown go and empty all the shelves of coca cola in the local store.

10. When a problem arises the most important thing is not to solve it but to show that you are not guilty. So, you are to argue who is to blame and why it is not you.

11. Be sloppy but creative: from grammar to domestic electrical installations. As long as it works somehow you are fine.

Finally, if the going gets tough you are to forget all previous 11 rules and go into death across Albania to win the impossible war.

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